One thing that is never talked about in relationships is money. Money is very important in your relationship and for some reason, it is treated as a taboo subject. Ensuring you and your partner have the same understanding is crucial to reaching your goals in the future. You and your partner may make different amounts of money and may have different ideas of how frivolous your spending should be. In order to progress as a couple, you need to be on the same page.
The best way to do this is to have a monthly money date night. This is exactly as it sounds, one night a month where you and your partner go out for dinner and discuss finances. You will likely bring your laptop or some pens and paper, it may look strange to others at the restaurant but in my experience, it is the best way. Allow me to explain.
You should go out to a restaurant because it immediately takes the drama out of the situation. By being in public everyone will behave. There should be no outbursts, no tears, and no fighting. This may sound a bit dramatic but trust me, talking about money can often lead to arguments.
When we say date night, we mean date night. Go somewhere nice, get a little dressed up. The finances should be the central focus but once you wrap up that conversation you can enjoy your night with your partner as you would any other date night.
During the meeting try and avoid the word you. ‘You’ is a verbal way to point the finger. Don’t place blame on anyone. Always speak with the word ‘we’ emphasizing what needs to happen as a couple. In any conversation, you should aim to spend 80% of the time listening and 20%. Of course, if two people in a conversation with only two people, try to do this, it will be a quiet conversation. You understand the point though, listen to your partner, hear what they are saying, repeat the point they make, take account of their perspective and give your response.
If you want to reach any financial goals you have to do it is a team. This is your in-game strategy session to ensure you are moving in the right direction. As long as you can see any problem from the other person’s perspective you will have a great night and a great financial future.
